Apr 21 • 36M

spiritchild on Embracing Core Desires While Dismantling the System

When you’re too spiritual for activist spaces and too political for spiritual spaces

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Jera Brown
Interviews about the role sex, sexuality and all-things-eros have played in people's spiritual identities and practices. This podcast especially centers the stories of queer folks and sex workers.
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My latest guest for Left-Handed Journeys is spirit, also known as spiritchild, who among other roles and identities, serves as a spiritual advisor, community organizer, and a rEvolutionary Somatica practitioner incorporating elements of sensuality, sexuality, spirituality and the various “realities” (our society and daily practical challenges) to holistically obtain desired effects of eroticism and greater intimate relations with self and the world that surrounds us.  

*Note regarding pronouns. spirit uses the maroon. In maroon’s words:

“for me. it encompasses all as I'm fluid and have been called and prefer to be called what evokes in the space and time I occupy with any one or group of people. maroons are those who haven't ever been enslaved or enslaved folx who liberated themselves and others. they fled the plantation to not conform to the norm or popular beliefs that oppression proposed and promoted. in short , maroons are non-conforming.”

We talked about:

  • spirit’s spiritual roots as a Yaruba or Santerio priest.

  • Traveling as a freedom artist and giving back to communities maroon visits.

  • spirit’s work as a Somatica practitioner, helping people embrace their core desires.

  • What it means to be a spiritually-rooted person and a revolutionary.

For this newsletter, I’m highlighting a part of our conversation about an issue that I’m guessing many of us can relate to: what happens when parts of our identity or values clash in different communities we’re a part of.

During our chat, spirit explained:

I'll go into different zones depending on where I'm at. If things are too fluffy and hippy, I go back into a realm of dismantling the system. I tell people first and foremost, I'm a revolutionary because I feel like I have to assert that identity there. And when I'm in other spaces — revolutionary spaces — I'm a spiritual being walking in this life …

I almost applauded over Zoom. I feel this issue a lot when I’m moving in and out of spiritual or activist spaces or queer, kink, or poly communities. Sometimes I’m too “woo-woo” or spiritual for a given community. Or in spiritual or new age spaces, I’m too political or justice-oriented. In other words, I either get critical and judgmental, or I’m judged, or I’m not seen.

Sometimes it’s frustrating. At other times, it’s just lonely. That feeling of always having to leave part of you at home.

I asked spirit what they do with this loneliness. Here’s what maroon said, broken up with some thoughts of my own.

1. Ground Yourself With a Couple of People Who Share Your Vision AND Get You

Not surprisingly, spirit’s advice was to find a few people who share your ideals: “So if they have a vision, I lend my body, mind, and, soul to their vision. And I just immerse myself in their world and they do the same for me,” spirit continued.

But spirit added something I found really useful, “And also at times if they believe in you, that's helpful, but they don't have to necessarily.”

See, part of what I think spirit was saying is that you don’t just need people who are committed to always being your cheerleader. You also need people who have the same vision of the world, so that you don’t lose faith.  Especially those people willing to challenge you. “You need someone that knows you sometimes better than you know yourself,” maroon explained.

2. Keep Grounded In Your Similarities

Sometimes it’s totally okay to leave a community. If they don’t share your ideals and you’re really not comfortable there, then why stay? But if something is keeping you there, the best thing you can do is keep reminding yourself why.

“Sometimes bridges get burned so easy, because we'll have the expectations of what it is to be in a space, how I'm supposed to be,” spirit said, “and we're fighting over the wrong things. Where is the construction of being together and figuring that we're more similar, especially than the oppressor? We're more similar than we are different.”

This reminded me a lot of activist Loretta Ross’s plea. Instead of calling people out, she encourages folks to “call people in.” When someone says something insensitive or even racist/homophobic, etc. — invite them into a conversation instead of a fight. If you haven’t, PLEASE listen to Ross’s Ted Talk. It’s worth it.

3. Figure Out How to Be Useful

About navigating multiple communities, spirit explained, “the navigation for me is to offset the imbalance. Like if there's something that I can lend from my other spaces that is more useful in those spaces, that's what I bring more, and I kind of tap dance.”

I love this advice.

Being useful doesn’t mean trying to convert or change anyone or the community. It’s simply seeing what you have to add to a space. It’s being of service.

Have other advice on this topic? I’d love to hear it.

A post shared by Souel Spiritchild Fénix (@xspiritmental)

spirit is an afro-indgenía maroon (of Puerto Rican and Jamaican descent) who was born, raised and currently resides in New York City. He’s a rEvolutionary Somatica practitioner incorporating elements of sensuality, sexuality, spirituality and the various “realities” (our society and daily practical challenges) to holistically obtain desired effects of eroticism and greater intimate relations with self and the world that surrounds us.  

Spirit also has 30 years of experience as a spiritual advisor and counselor along with; community organizing, mentorship, prison/school/community workshops on arts and exploration of another world for the liberation of all beings, being an international touring freedom singer (musician) who devotes songs that speak to liberation and a pedagogue that assist with the professional development with individuals as well as organizations. spirit has a B.A. in Psychology and Communications. 

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Transcript For This Episode

Spirit: [00:00:00] I find myself, working with clients who want to talk to me about their partners and how they're not having good sex, finding crystals for them and little, little things that can anchor them even with people with like erectile dysfunction. I get a lot of people who are self-diagnosed with that. A lot of times it's like, let's breathe into the ease of who you are, you know, the pressures of our society for you to. to last long to be a wreck to, you know, be sexy, you know, let's like take that away and let's, let's try to find who you are. And that usually is a spiritual, opening and awakening. And then I find people are meditating more than they're feeling a little bit more confident, not to say that it cures all, but it definitely helps.

 Jera Brown: Spirit, also known as spiritchild, is a freedom artist who uses the arts to cultivate a cultural revolution throughout the world. Among other roles, spirit also serves as a spiritual advisor, community organizer, and a rEvolutionary Somatica practitioner incorporating elements of sensuality, sexuality, spirituality and the various “realities” (our society and daily practical challenges) to holistically obtain desired effects of eroticism and greater intimate relations with self and the world that surrounds us.  

Jera Brown: Spirit, thank you so much [00:01:30] for joining me.

Spirit: Thank you for having me.

Jera Brown: So we were just talking beforehand about the crazy way that I found you and had to track you down, through your Somatica Institute profile.

you know, I'm going to, like I said, I, I really want you to start with like your story and I'm gonna ask you about your spiritual roots, but I'm just curious, like Somatica Institute, when did, how long has it been and how did you discover it?

Spirit: I, My former partner, was working on, and she still is working on kind of a documentary, a TV series. She was involved with Somatica, this institute. She received some training, and it kind of changed her world, you know? Mm-hmm. And this, this partner that I had was actually one who opened me up to Polyamory, a few decades ago. So I trust her. And, she was like, well, you know, this area of work.

it's a little different. It's very like, involved and engaging. I think you'd be great at it. And to let you know, the reason why I'm asking you to come out to California, cuz I did a TV shoot for them. The reason why I'm asking you to come out is because it's predominantly, white, white body.

And, she was like, I think it'd be great with the work that you're doing, in prison and, and just as a revolutionary to get some of that training just to see and check it out. She's like, I know you're very critical. So she was giving me the heads up, like, don't, don't kill me. Just know you're walking into.

And I was like, okay, cool. So I walked in there and I did a session, [00:03:00] just for tv. and I, I fell in love with it. I, I just, I thought it was. And, this was like, 2019. okay. And. You know, I, I was like, okay, let, let's check this out. And I found it very similar to my spiritual practice and practice and other things that I was doing, except this was very more concentrated on people's, more sexuality and intimacy as opposed to the holistic approach.

So, I said, all right, let me give it a shot. And then I found out it was so expensive that, I was like, that looks and sounds cool. I'm gonna keep that over there. And luckily I met a few people on set.. And one woman in particular who has been kind of like a mentor of mine. she sponsored me through the program to get certified.

And this was also during a time of, just before, you know, we were like taking the streets to New York, right? So soon as I got the, okay, I remember telling them I have to miss the first module because I have to. Protesting in the streets of New York and shit is crazy over here. So, and then they were like, oh, no problem, blah, blah.

But you can't, you know, those things you can't miss a day and it's really intensive weekends and blah blah. And, that was kind of like her way of. Of, of, of, contributing to the cause per se. Mm-hmm. Right. Like she was like a sponsor for me and, and, and, she helped me work through this and I got certified, I started practicing and I, I have clients and I love it ever since, you [00:04:30] know, and I meet the people and, and they're great and they're still like not enough.

cuz it's so expensive. There's not enough people who are identify as black, brown, indigenous who are doing this practice. however, Offer discounts to people to try to get them in and if people are really about it, you know, so we still try to work ways around, but that's kind of like the short story of how I got involved and now I'm sticking to it pretty much.

Jera Brown: That's perfect. So that's gonna count, that's gonna be sort of our teaser about where we're heading. That's great. There's, there's so much there. So, so take us back. tell us about your spiritual roots. Like what kind of like religious or spiritual practices were you raised?

Spirit: Mm-hmm. Yeah. thanks. I've been more open, the past, I guess, five or so years, and I think I opened a portal for myself to, but for others too, to be comfortable talking about my spirituality.

Mm-hmm. It's something that I've kept not private on per on purpose, but it's something that has been, really ostracized by society. So I'm, I'm a Yaruba or Santero Priest. so this is, the origins is Nigeria. Cuba, my specifically is connected to, is to Cuba because it's Because it's closer. Mm-hmm. So our practice, consists of paying tribute homage to the elements, dieties, gods, goddesses, believing and understanding that there, there isn't higher force. There is one higher force. [00:06:00] However, this higher force, asks for or leans upon the help of the others that guide different elements. So there's something that guides over the sea, there's, an element that guides over the forest, this is something that's very, so ancient that, it's, it's connected. you know, you can find its origins or roots to Kemet. people are now talking about this divine feminine and masculine,

And those are ancient concepts. from the beginning of our practice, you'll find many of the Yaruba or Santeria. gods and goddesses having sometimes like a dual personality. for example, there's Olokun who lives in the depth of the sea that people don't know if Olokun's a man, gender-wise, a woman, they're not sure. So they kind of play her both ways. the diety that I've been crowned with when I was 11 years old, is Chango is a very, very intense masculine; however, six months of the year, Chango is feminine because of the synchronicity with Catholicism. Chango is identified with Santa Babara and Saint Barbara is woman, you know, and Chango is like a happy macho man, you know, like whatever. so. That's how we kind of play, you know, with this, this idea or concept of gender a lot.

And that also goes into the sexuality. There's so many stories about the, the folklores of the gods and goddesses coming together and merging [00:07:30] and, you know, playing with each other and creating other things and entities and volcanoes and eruptions and all that stuff. so like that's, that's kind of my essential spiritual practice. so for oof, over three decades, I guess. been a priest and I've been seeing people, more frequently, probably over the past 20 years. more intensely as, someone who guides or counsels or holds. facilitates that process initiates people.

you know, the reason why also it's, it's something that I used to not speak of too much because we involve sometimes, you know, some sacrificing or, or things that, that are, that are unorthodox to Western world, up until like the nineties people were, Arrested for, for practicing this practice in public.

So, my godfathers and, and my elders would always caution me to, even the things that I wear symbolically. To leave no trail or trace to what my practice is. And, and it's also a very secretive practice, not only because of that, but because of the elements and the sacredness of it and what we do behind closed doors.

we don't really publicize and I've never publicized that I'm a priest to people. and I've found that, and we don't solicit, you know, so, but I found [00:09:00] over the past, like five years speaking out more about. Not to solicit, but to allow this, this other perspective of spirituality, you know, this other way that, that is rooted.

I also find a connection to my revolutionary cause to assert that identity more, and to not shy away from it. So I consider myself a Maroon. those who. Either enslaved or never enslaved. coming from Jamaica, I mean, they go all over Venezuela, Suriname, wherever you found colonizers, they were people who resisted; wherever you found people who came to the shores, there were people who said no, and people who tried to live alternatively. And these were Maroons. And those Maroons were also, very adamant about keeping and preserving their culture and their ways. So I find the assertion today very significant to, a resistance that, that is articulate through, through, through religion, you know, through spirituality.

Like not, not conforming to what is popular, not conforming to what, our country tis of thee says, right? So I speak out in that way of telling people. Yeah, I do that thing, you know, like kinda, you know, yeah, I do, I do this other thing, you know, and I think it, it's been, it's been helpful because then people kind of understand me a little bit and I don't have to explain that I'm so, so different.

I grew up. [00:10:30] My, my, my godfather's gay. Right. So, openly, right? And in our religion, I grew up in the Bronx and my family unapologetically, we all just act the way we are, you know? Mm-hmm. So my introduction to L G B T Q I plus was like, when I was thinking back so early on. You know, when it wasn't a thing that society accepted.

So I mean, still accepting, right? Like they're still trying, they're figuring it out, but more so accepting, you know, aunts, uncles, de Diaz would, would, would be, they would transition, you know, they were transitioning. So we had transgender in our family. We had all this kind of, Not to say there weren't complications, but I feel like in our community, within our, sector of spiritual practice, there was, it was always a safer space for, for that freedom of expression.

No one ever questioned that. Like it was never, it was never a thing, you know? and I think because, if I have to think about it, because we so. So persecuted as, as a, as a entity of practice. But I think our embodiment, we can understand that, you know, we can go, yeah, I get it. You know, like nobody wants you to exist the way you want to exist and [00:12:00] be, that's how this whole community is.

That's how our whole continent is. That's how our whole spiritual universe is, you know, like, It's been such a, a connection for me and eye-opening. And when I see people struggling, I usually ask them what is their spiritual practice? Not to say that they need to have one, but sometimes it helps to, to validate and affirm.

And, you know, my mother would tell me when I was a kid, she would say, you know, who's your best friend? who's your friend? And I would look at her like, I thought it was always a trick. She's very tough, you know? And she'd be like, who's your friend? Who's your friend? I'm like, you? She'd be like, yeah, yeah, but who's your friend?

And I'd be like, I don't know. She's like, the spirit is your friend. You know? Like they'll never turn their back on you. They'll always be there when I'm not around. You always have that. And, I find that to be like an anchor for me because so many people are searching for validation from other people and get disappointed.

And I'm always asking, well, what's your, what's your pillar? What's your rock? What's your foundation like? Who's your friend that you can speak to that understands you, what nobody else does? and that makes more sense and that matters more, you know? so, I find myself, working with clients who want to talk to me about their partners and how they're not having good.

sex [00:13:30] Finding crystals for them and little, little things that can anchor them or taking spiritual baths or, and, and finding another portal of opening to alleviate, even with people with like erectile dysfunction. I get a lot of people who are diagnosed, self-diagnosed with that. A lot of times it's like, let's breathe into the ease of who you are, you know, the pressures of our society for you to. to last long to be a wreck to, you know, be sexy, you know, let's like take that away and let's, let's try to find who you are. And that usually is a spiritual, opening and awakening. And then I find people are meditating more than they're feeling a little bit more confident.

not to say that it cures all, but it definitely helps. Doesn't help to be so anxious and to not have a friend, you know? Mm-hmm. So I always refer. This spiritual thing as a, as a friend is something that you can rely and count on and you said at your alter and you talk and you pray and you, if you don't like to pray, you write a poem.

If you don't like to write poems, you dance. You know, you give something to show that there is something greater and that greatness can hopefully assist you and alleviate some pressures that you're having in the real world. so. I've always been dancing, you know, dancing, dancing, dancing with the elements, and obviously music is always there as a, as a soundtrack to [00:15:00] everything that's happening.

Jera Brown: So tell us a bit about, so that's the one thing we haven't talked about yet, is your, your, identity as a, as a freedom artist. So what does it mean to be a freedom artist?

Spirit: Yeah, so Nina Simone coined freedom singer and I love Nina Simone. She's one of my favorite artists. And, ever since I read that of her, I was like, I'm a freedom singer. And then I, I considered myself more artistically because I just dabble in all forms and I like to keep it a bit more open. I've been doing. Since I was like eight years old, you know, I'm, I'm 44 now. And, it's just been my life. It’s been something that, that before I could rely or count upon a friend and understood what that meant. That has been my therapy.

I had a really good high school, teacher. Thank God I had so many good people in in my life that, you know, it was just rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap.

And he was just like, okay, cool. So he was teaching black history and I was, I went to his black history course. And I got put on to Malcolm X and it was over. Mm-hmm. You know? Mm-hmm. My music changed, my ideas changed, my idea with music changed. my purpose for it changed. I found myself going more into just liberation art, like any, any place.

I mean, I have songs of [00:16:30] Palestine, Tuvalu, Maldives,, any place where they're suffering and I, I can take time to lend some creation to, and that's also a way for me to, to learn of the place, right? The researching, the mapping, the, the connection with the people. and, and fortunately that's how I've been privileged to go to many places as well.

through, through writing, you know, through, through the arts, through cultural organizing. spending time with the Zapatistas in Mexico, like able to offer, not just for receive, was something that was really,I found important for other communities. I, I al I'm always usually very quiet, and, and willing to just sit in a space and observe and, and, and take in, but, I've learned from various communities that it's, it's a little selfish to do so.

Mm-hmm. It's really important to also offer and one of the things that they told us, they were like, what do you have to offer us? You know? Mm-hmm. I was there with people of color delegation, or mostly black and brown and indigenous people from the states. We went there and we all stood together and they were like, that's cool.

So what is, what do y'all do? so we all gave. Most of us were creatives in our own way. So we gave a presentation, you know, and it felt really good to be in a space that we can share our struggle through song or dance. And, we didn't need translation for that.

Mm-hmm. You know, like that doesn't need [00:18:00] translation. so that energy of, of, of working on my craft, but also being able to craft with others and just sit, and, and be there has been really helpful. Music has helped, you know, I produce a lot of, I work with other people I DJ now as well. whatever, whatever's creative, I, I try to dabble in, you know, especially music.

 I mean, I write songs for political prisoners, like a, a lot of. is heavy. I go into prison teaching hip hop, teaching young people how to write. that's the way I was able to go behind enemy lines is, is through the disguise of I'm just an artist, you know, and I would just promote my political propaganda through those methods, or even now, somatically, you know, like offer another avenue of healing through art.

But really, deeper conversations and learning how to navigate those conversations and see where people are, what evokes things for them. And then use the music, use the revolutionary work, and then really zone in somatically and then really try to be present for people. so it's been like, you know, like little, it's ammunition I guess. It's like, you know, all, all sorts of little am ammunition. Like whatever I can take, I take and I use.

Jera Brown: Yeah. What comes to mind about that is I, I'm gonna make this list, and I know they're not separate parts of your identity, but you know, your work as a priest, your work as an [00:19:30]artist and a musician, your work as a revolutionary, work as a somatica coach.

Like they all, they're all acts of creativity. They're all acts of service. and I think for people that have these. Various aspects of themselves that like they're ways that they're both like interacting with spirit as well as interacting with themselves and the world. It's both like a testament to being an integrated person, but then it can also be exhausting, you know? Cause there's not like one set like path or calling. How do you navigate that? Like, being a complicated person in a world that doesn't always like, easily allow us to be complicated.

Spirit: Yeah, that's tough. some people, I mean, I. I have so many stories on that. I, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's exhausting. And, and, I find I'm so happy that I'm able to tap into other elements because one, one, I'm a very fiery person. You know, like Chango is a fiery spirit. I think of the dieties or the entities, kind of like people would see zodiacs, you know, like, mm-hmm. That's my sign. You know, I'm a Gemini and I'm also a child of Chango, which means a lot. if I can understand what that means and understand myself, it means [00:21:00] that I am, I am, I have a warrior energy that sometimes when I don't want a war, it's still, it's still there, and I have to constantly, And a lot of times I burn people, you know, or people feel threatened or burned by it.

So I have to, find another way for myself, you know, so the prayer, you know, I hold spiritual space. we've been doing it since 20 20, since the beginning of the, the other pandemic. and once a month we would just hold spiritual space for any and all, denominations, faith, whatever. It's just a prayer space. And we, we've been doing that three years. I mean, prior to that we've always held space in person, but this is different because it's people coming from other places that we meet, whether revolution, whatever, whatever.

And I find, like when I'm in that space, I don't think about the conflict of politic, you know, even internally. And, you know, there's been so many falling outs. We had so such intense intensity, right? Political prisoner campaigns, we would free somebody from prison. And then you'd find a lot of people kind of arguing sometimes over, like, maybe credit or, or this nuance of stu like our, our, our world is ridiculously stupid, you know, at times.

We, we focus and pay attention on the wrong things. Mm-hmm. Most times. [00:22:30] So, I, I like to think of that as a multiple intelligence, you know, like what is the other thing that I can look at and see that's positive, but intellectually stimulating. So I go to music. So sometimes I'll, I'll, I'll go into different zones depending on where I'm at, if things are too fluffy and hippy, I go back into a realm of dismantling the system, you know, like I, you know, wherever I am. Thank you for saying that. No, yeah. I mean, I, cause we, I have to. That's, I am, that's who I am when in these matter spaces, I tell people first and foremost, I'm a revolutionary because I feel like I have to assert that identity there.

And when I'm in other spaces that are, are revolutionary spaces, I. I'm a spiritual being walking in this life and da da da. Maybe we should take some, you know, so I try to, the navigation for me is offset the imbalance. Like if there's something that I can lend from my other spaces that is more useful in those spaces, that's what I bring more, you know, and I kind of like tap dance with.

Jera Brown: that. So I think, so this brings up something else for me is that, you know, constantly being that voice of alternative perspectives, that's, that's really when you step up as a leader in all these spaces. But that's lonely, right? Like Yeah. Talk about the loneliness of that.

Spirit: it's, [00:24:00] it's very lonely.

I found, I had a really good mentor who is no longer living. His name was Fred Ho and, he taught me so much before he died, especially. And one thing that was really important was that, as, as revolutionary leaders or just as leaders, we're gonna find ourselves, by ourselves, you. And what's important is not to, to try to convince the mass, but to really try to surround yourself with a few people and, that, that, that believe in the ideas and ideals that you believe in.

And also at times if they believe in you, that's helpful, but they don't have to necessarily and walk with them.. And I've been grateful to have a partner who believes in what I believe in. So even when I feel alone, I know they're there. And I've had other partners, in this polyamorous nature that have also been there, you know, selflessly and I for them, the same way, you know?

So if they have a vision, I lend. my Body, mind, and soul to their vision. And I, I, I just immerse myself in their world and they do the same for me. I find that's really hard to find, many people like that, which is why I think there's a reason why Fred was telling a few, [00:25:30] you know, you hold onto those few, and a lot of times we go out and we're recruiting. We recruit people and train people, you know, in this way and see if they want to learn. dismantle and develop ideologically ontologically, but a lot of times people are not looking for a few people, you know, they're either looking for the world to conform or to, to settle in with or, they're doing it for themselves.

That's dangerous, you know, because the world's gonna disappoint you and you will find yourself alone. but if you can try to find two, three people that are like not just your best friend, you know, like that are people that like really will ride with you. Hmm. And understand all your shit. And they like, it's cool you're going through your shit right now. Like, just hit me up in about a week, you know, like, and then we'll, we'll, we'll sort it out, or whatever it is. Or you need to like, that knows you, you know, sometimes better than you know yourself, you know? those, those are the, the, the things that keep me, sane and keep me in good company.

but it's hard, you know, like it's, it's hard cause I, I, I really feel at these times because of. Perspectives, like sometimes that the bridges get burned so easy. Mm-hmm. You know, cause we'll have the expectations of what it is to be in a space, how I'm supposed to be da da, oh, you did me [00:27:00]wrong. Oh, you, you mised me.

Oh, you blah, blah, blah. Like, and it becomes a whole thing of like, do you understand the person that you're talking to? we're fighting so much. We're fighting for the wrong things, you know, it's. Where is the construction of being together and, and figuring that we're more similar, especially than the oppressor.

We're more similar than we are different and we need each other, you know? so it's been helpful because I've been getting more vulnerable. Somatica has helped me a lot to ask for. To say I'm over capacity, but not, not that I'm done, not to use it as an excuse, but to say I'm over capacity. Can, can I have assistance in this particular area, so that I don't get burned out quicker?

Jera Brown: Yeah. So, okay. We haven't, we had the introduction to somatic at the beginning, so let's, let's come back to it like, What was what, so what is Somatica and, and what do you do with it?

Spirit: Yeah, so it's, it's an approach of, working with individuals, yourself and a very, touch base and body embodied base.

But also erotic. So that's where the, uh, comes in. So the erotica, so there's the, there's that, that kind of nature. [00:28:30] eroticism could, could scope and range, right? Because, we all have our levels of comfort with that or exposure to that. So a lot of times it could be just, I'm working with somebody and they're feeling like they have a low libido, whatever. And they don't, they don't, they're concerned. I'm like, well, what do you like, you know, what do you like to do? And we'll find out that person likes to garden. Like they really get off on gardening, you know? So it's like attuning to people. Deshamifying is the main, those are the main things. And, and, and saying like, it's okay to be where you are in your body.

it's okay to find sexiness where others don't really see that sexiness because we've been, you know, programmed to seeing what the image of lovemaking, sex, family, that intimacy is supposed to look like. Mm-hmm. But, I find it so beautiful to hear people's natural, raw, naked self into what they find as their core desires, like what they really like. Like I just wanna be on the couch eating ice cream, you know, with my partner, with my head on their lap. Excellent. How can we get more of that for you? You know, like that's, you know, like that.

If that's it, that's it. You know what I mean? Like, it's, so sometimes people get afraid cuz they're like, oh my god. Doing all these crazy things and yeah, we do crazy things, you know? and [00:30:00]intimacy is intimacy, you know? I see people in person, a lot of times they, they don't know how to receive touch.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So we'll explore that to a level of comfort. A lot of times people don't know, how to express boundaries, you know? offer or respect. Consent, you know, How to be with an another individual, you know, like how, like, how to get cues or like, you know, sometimes it's not even about sex.

It's just like, I don't even know how to begin to identify and talk to another human being, you know? And, and, and we, especially the past few years, you know, we have to take the time to, to reset. Things are a lot different. Somehow we're still rolling and moving as if things are the same, which is okay if that's comfortable for people, and to understand that for a lot of other people, that difference is they're wearing it on their skin.

So we have to be, sensitive to receiving that difference so that we don't become indifferent to people. And that connection for me is where I find the somatica energy of, bridging those differences, having a greater understanding and a greater awareness to yourself, you know, and then how yourself is [00:31:30] connected to other people.

Cuz what I'm finding, a lot of times people are coming in with their intimacy issues or problems with their partner. or themselves or whatever, and I'm like, well, how can I talk to your partner or the person that is making you feel this way? Cuz that's the person who I should be talking to. Mm-hmm.

You're fine. You know, you're okay. It's usually, it's like the perception of what other people's projection is upon them. I'm like, oh, let's talk about that part, you know? But you're fine.

Jera Brown: Is it predominantly individual coaching or is it also couples coaching or a mix?

Spirit: Mix? Yeah, it's a mix. Yeah. I get a lot of couples.

I get a lot of individuals. I get people who, who are not even dating, you know? Mm-hmm. but, but wanna feel a sense of connecting with someone else. You know? I get people who they think, I don't know, but I know who, who hit me up and they're. I wanna do a session, but like there's an attraction with me.

Mm-hmm. And, they want to keep that going cuz it feels good. And I'm like, that's good. You know? That's good. That's good too. You know, so I get that part. I get a lot of different things. and then I got people who really are adamantly thinking and that they know exactly what they're in for. Like they know what they need to do.

Mm-hmm. some of them are like, it's just like marriage counseling too, you know, like it's just really heavy stuff too. Like people, I saw my partner just blatantly cheating in our bed with blah, blah, blah, like, you know, and it's like we have to really work that out. [00:33:00] Like the practicality of that is intense, but the first part is a tuning and actually communicating, you know, stop communicating, with our bodies, with ourselves. So, regardless if it's a couple or an individual, communication is always a thing that, that, that comes up. Right. Always comes up. But yeah, couples, individuals, whatever it is, it's a rodeo. I haven't had,I haven't had three people on yet, but I'm, I'm, I think it, it could happen.

Fingers crossed. Like, fingers crossed. Yes.

Jera Brown: Oh, I love it. Okay. I think we need to start wrapping up. mm-hmm. Is there anything else that you would like to leave us with about, you know, the integration in the intersection between our spiritual and our erotic selves?

Spirit: Yeah, I would say not to be afraid.

wherever people's comfort level, wherever they find themselves, it's okay to be where you are and it's also okay to push out more who you are. Hmm. we're not monolithic creatures, you know, so if, if we go to a space and we want to dance, usually we'll dance if the music feels right. We don't have to turn off our spiritual selves if we're in a crowded room and we feel like praying or doing a cleansing, [00:34:30] cleaning ourselves, thinking of spiritual meditating, you know, to to be, immersed in all yourselves in a space is probably one of the most liberating things that one can do. It's hard, but if you can do it and find that you can do it more, just think about how many others would be liberated and feel the need to liberate and practice that liberation. And I think that's the trend or the fire that we wanna spark, you know, the idea that we can be a reflection of a society that's transforming and being comfortable with who we are and our many selves. Mm-hmm. You know, and our dynamic beauty, you know, so if, if there's a way to do that responsibly without forcibly trying to convince other people of your way just to be who you are, I think that's, that's, that's probably what I would offer as, as some kind of path that could be taken if, if people want to take that path, you know? I think it's, it's, it's colorful, it's beautiful. it's inviting. It's, it's scary. But, to go into the fear because, and the fear is, is, you know, we find resilience, happiness, strength, confidence, you know, we learned from it, you know?

and just think of how many people could learn from us or you going into your fear, you [00:36:00]know, maybe that would be more of a motivation to do that. Yeah.

Jera Brown: Great thoughts to end on. Thank you so much for joining me.

Spirit: Thank you.