What's The Point of a Spiritual Life?
Reflections on the Collaborating With the Universe workshop
The day before the Collaborating with the Universe workshop, I found myself yelling FUCK several times, tilting my head up and away from my phone so that I wasn’t yelling direct at the poor customer support agent on the other end of the line.
In trying to set up my Zoom account to host the workshop, I missed some “fine print,” and the company charged me nearly $450. But I didn’t have $450 in my bank account, so I was overdrawn. And they couldn’t just revert my account back to the way it was because … policies.
The past few months had been rough when it came to my finances and career. Without going into all the frustrating details, it felt like no matter what I did, somehow I’d wind up sinking further into debt. And on top of it all, my stable job was feeling more and more toxic.
Finally, forced to chose between my mental health and my ability to support myself, I chose the former. I quit my job without having any sort of savings or another source of income lined up.
For months, I’d been asking myself, Spirit, my ancestors, my dogs …. what exactly was I supposed to have faith in? That the Universe would provide? What was that supposed to look like?
So depending on how you look at it, I was hosting this workshop on collaborating at the perfect or the worst time.
That night, I messaged Venus about what was happening. “It’s ironic to be hosting this workshop when I feel like I’m being screwed up the butt by the Universe,” I told her.
And yet, it also felt appropriate.
I opened the event explaining that neither Bonnie Violet, Venus, nor I claimed to have all the answers. We were all searching and wanted to search together.
But there was an implication: that we had learned something as we searched. Which was true. In fact, the overall conversation that night, as well as Bonnie Violet and Venus’s guided activities, helped confirm something for me that I deeply believe. Actually two things.
Two things I hold true:
I don’t believe the goal of a spiritual life or spiritual practice should be for things to get easier. And if it’s not the goal, neither should an easy life be a sign of spiritual maturity or righteousness.
See, I think that it’s super problematic to see people who are wealthy, healthy, successful, etc. as being “blessed.” Because then the opposite must be true. Then people who are poor, have health issues, and so on are cursed.
This perspective simply doesn’t align with my values.
We’ve all seen the vapidness, the moral emptiness that can come from money and power. And alternatively, we can see evidence of spiritual growth from people who have suffered.
And yet, it’s so easy to only see the presence of Spirit when good things happen. And it’s so tempting to use positive experiences as evidence that you’re on the right path. (And sometimes they are!) But I believe that real spiritual maturity calls for more nuance and a long-term perspective.
Two other important points here.
I’m not trying to glorify suffering. I don’t think that suffering is any more a sign of spiritual maturity as the lack of suffering. Relatedly, I don’t think my personal financial situation is some sort of holy test or whatever.
I’m also not saying you shouldn’t ask for blessings or good things from the Universe.
What I am trying to say is that smooth sailing in life is not a sign of spiritual alignment. In fact, sometimes being spiritually aligned means leaning into things that are challenging. A life of service. A life of activism and resistance. Facing suffering head on instead of ignoring it or running from it.
What is the point of spirituality if it doesn’t make your life easier? I suppose it’s up to everyone to answer that question for themselves. But some of my personal answers include:
Seeking wisdom to better understand why things are the way they are.
Seeking comfort when things are really fucking hard.
Seeking guidance about how to live a life in line with my values.
Seeking joy that comes from feeling connected to things much greater than myself.
And yes. Of course, I hope things get financially easier for me. And of course, I ask Spirit and my ancestors for their support. For unexpected opportunities. For blessings.
But, for me, part of collaborating with the Universe is accepting an active role not only in my own life but the world around me.
I work to accept what’s out of my control while still resisting and fighting oppressive systems.
I work on discerning what’s my fight and what’s not.
I try to find ways to take care of myself and not expect the Universe to do it for me.
I seek guidance and support on all of the above while not being paralyzed by everything I don’t understand.
And to be candid: those moments that seem too beautiful, too uncanny to be coincidences? Those moments where it feels like something is telling me I’m not alone? They keep me going. Even when I’m broke and sometimes desperate and have no idea how things are going to turn out.
I struggle. I doubt. I have faith. I curse. I keep going.
Thank you all for walking with me.
Over the next few posts, I plan on continuing to dissect what I believe about collaborating with the Universe, such as having the ability to say no to Spirit and the temptation of spiritual bypassing.
Have thoughts? I’m starting a chat on the Substack app about what YOU think the goal(s) of a spiritual life are.